How do you spend your WIN blocks? Mine are spent in the gym shooting pucks with my coach until the bell rings for the last block at 1:38. This started in the middle of my sophomore year, when I finally had the nerve to knock on my coach’s door and ask for help with my shot.
When I first walked into Hobomock Arena for high school hockey tryouts during my sophomore year, I was terrified: terrified of upperclassmen, coaches, parents, and other students. I felt alone. Little did I know, I was the furthest thing from alone. What I anticipated would be the most intimidating season of my life turned out to be the most fun season I have ever had.
“Can you help me? What would you do? Do you have a minute?” These were simple questions, yet impossible to ask. Once I climbed the mountain of courage to ask these questions, everything began to fall into place. The scary upperclassmen became some of my best friends. The moments I thought I would dread became some of my best memories, all because I decided to speak up. If I could go back and change anything from my freshman and sophomore years, I would speak up and use the resources that are available to me. It is easier said from a junior’s perspective, but there are plenty of ways to ask for help or guidance.
One of the most valuable resources you have as an underclassman is an upperclassman. It may not feel like it at first, especially when they come off as confident or intimidating; however, every upperclassman was once in your shoes. As an upperclassman, I can speak for all upperclassmen in saying that I will never forget the nerves of walking into a new school, trying out for a new team, and balancing athletics, academics, and life as a high school student. Although it may feel that way, asking an upperclassman for help does not mean you are weak: it shows you are courageous and want to improve. No matter what is on your mind, upperclassmen are almost always willing to help–as long as you are willing to ask.
Coaches look like mean, scary authority figures. But in reality, some of the best relationships during your time in high school can be with your coaches. Although they can come off as angry people, coaches absolutely want the best for you, and they are willing to help you if you let them in. Coaches see you at your best — and your worst. Building a relationship and a safe space with your coach can absolutely help reduce your stress.
SHS science teacher and volleyball coach David Richardson said, “As coaches, we try to be approachable. It is important to earn a student’s trust and show them that they can come to you for anything they need.” It may not be obvious, but a coach’s job is not limited to helping you become a better athlete; it is just as fulfilling for them to see you grow as a human being. Even if they hold you to a higher standard, coaches understand that, for student-athletes, stress, pressure, and fear of failure can play a huge role in athletic performance. Richardson went on to say, “As an athlete myself, I understand what it’s like to be under mental and physical stress without saying anything because of fear of being seen as weak.”
Richardson is also the faculty adviser for Morgan’s Message, a club at SHS. Morgan’s Message is a nationwide nonprofit organization that strives to eliminate the stigma surrounding mental health in the student-athlete community by equalizing the treatment of mental and physical health in sports. Richardson added, “Our goal is to bring awareness to the stress that student-athletes face on a daily basis.” At SHS, Morgan’s Message is a safe space for student athletes to ask for help and advocate for themselves. Richardson stated, “Students who felt like they were alone facing these issues realized that they are not.” Although it is still a new club, Morgan’s Message is a powerful in-school resource that continues to help more students every day.
School counselors are also available for a reason. They are not only a great resource for college planning and scheduling, but they are also there for you. Counselors are trained to support students emotionally and academically. If you are overwhelmed or feeling anxious about anything, you can find your counselor through the doors right outside the cafeteria. Your counselor is somebody who will be a consistent resource for you throughout all four years of high school.
Many students hesitate to reach out to a counselor because they feel like their problems are not “big enough,” which is absolutely a misconception. Everybody’s problems are different, none bigger than the other. You do not need to wait until things begin to fall apart to ask for help. Talking to a counselor early can help you manage stress and make your high school experience much smoother.
By no means does asking for help indicate you are failing; high school is a crucial period of growth and maturity for young, developing minds. Nobody expects you to have it all figured out as a high school student. High school is a time when failure is a way to learn and grow. The people at school who are close to you — upperclassmen, coaches, teachers, and counselors — are all a part of your support system, and they want nothing more than to see you grow and succeed as an athlete and as a person.
If there is one message I hope you take away from this essay, it would be not to wait. Do not suffer in silence when you have plenty of support right in front of you. Speak up, ask questions, and use your resources. One conversation, one simple question, can change your entire high school experience, just like it did for me. In the blink of an eye, you will find yourself as an upperclassman, a leader, someone younger students look up to. When that day comes, you will understand how powerful it can be to simply ask for help.