For those moments when your awkward uncle or overbearing aunt really shouldn’t have, here are some tips on how to handle the worst gifts you’ll receive this holiday season. These tragic gift ideas are inspired both by online reports and SHS student experiences.

iPhone 3: Most definitely used or re-gifted, this is “The iPhone you [were waiting] for” –in 2010. With the first ever turn-by-turn navigation system and App Store, this iPhone won’t make you wait for updates; iOS 2.0 isn’t compatible with the iPhone 4 or anything newer.

Option A: Lucky for you, iPhone 3gs phones with 8GB of storage still sell for over $50 on eBay.com. (Just make sure your favorite bargain-hunting aunt doesn’t see your name as a seller.) Option B: Donate the old phone to charity or give it to that friend that’s always losing his or her phone.

Cooking for One—a recipe book: Plenty of recipe books now provide instant meal ideas with microwave instructions designed for single serving sizes. At first glance, this gift might seem slightly offensive to the receiver. What it says: You’ll probably need this because you can’t cook and you will be eating alone. But for a future college undergrad, your dorm room’s microwave might be your best option for late night snacks. Maybe you don’t want to share your food with your roommates.

Option A: Sell it at a yard sale, only after careful storage in your attic for a few years, just in case you get desperate when you’re off on your own. Option B: Donate the book to your local library or charity. One man’s trash might be one poor soul’s new treasure.

Retainer cleaner: Did your mom really just make you open this in front of all of your distant cousins? What it says: You wear a retainer every night, and it might be a hint about your breath.

Option A: Hide this in the back of your bathroom cabinet until the expiration date passes— “Oh darn, it’s gone bad.” Option B: Don’t you dare try to throw this gift away too early. Your mother lives with you and notices everything, including what ends up at the bottom of the trash barrel.

“Plotting your demise”: You can never start buying your gravestone and cemetery plot or writing your Last Will and Testament too soon. Funeral arrangements are expensive and someone must think that you’ll need a head start.

Option A: If everything has already been paid for, just wait it out. It will come in handy eventually.

Inedible Arrangements: Someone took the time to bake a Zucchini Casserole just for you. Or someone remembered a box of your favorite kind of cookies, but they expired two months ago.

Option A: Mention in your “thank you” that you’ll save this for later. The trash is the best option for expired foods. Option B: Another holiday party is bound to occur in the next day or two, so if you or your parents are willing to re-gift, bring along that casserole and leave it behind.

American Girl Doll’s The Care and Keeping of You: For the girls, this might bring back some dark memories from the pre-pubescent years and your mom’s or school nurses’ “special” talks. At this point, the gift is probably a few years too late.

Option A: Re-gift or provide another hand-me-down to your little sister or cousin. Option B: If you have no use for it, do not leave it sitting around the house. It’s probably best just to toss it.