Are you tired of constant complaints that girls make about the outrageous expenses and tasks associated with prom? Are you stressing out over outrageous chemistry homework? Are you aggravated with AP Lang writing assignments? Well guys — and yes, only guys — I have the perfect solution to take your mind off the stress and anxiety of school: Promposal.

If you’re looking for that special someone to accompany you to prom, you need to prompose, and you need to do it now. A simple text to any girl is only going to land you a simple date; you must branch out from the rest of the group by asking your lady out in style. Believe me — I would know. I asked out my girl in swag: Since her middle name is Rose, I wrote “PROM?” using rose pedals. Deciding I needed to sweeten the deal, I threw in a package of Sour Patch Watermelon gummies. It was mad cute, and she loved it.

Girls are not the only ones who have the struggles of prom. Bros also have responsibilities that are vital to their prom survival: we have to look dapper, smell nice, and avoid all prom drama. An excellent promposal will set a distinct path toward everlasting memories on Friday, May 8^th, 2015. I asked SHS junior Jack Falvey about his thoughts on promposing. Jack responded, “While it may seem scary at first, it is able to create a bond between you and another person that could last a lifetime.” A promposal can mean more than just a day at the dance; in fact, it can lead to a more meaningful relationship that could last a lifetime. (Shout out to Ms. Gleba: note my use of pathos.) Without a promposal, life could be bland. Falvey went on to elaborate, stating, “The constant stress of my modern day schooling has led me to seek new ways to take my mind off of stress. The promposal was the perfect route to deal with the stress.”

Although many guys in the high school are quite nervous before promposing, in the end, the positives outweigh the negatives. Planning a promposal can be a fun, creative way to draw out your inner Romeo. (Shout out to Mr. Beattie: Who could forget The Tragedy of Deshawn and Precious?) Not to go all Nike imperative on you, but just do it. Today’s bros know how to prompose. I promposed and it changed my life. Promposing could change your life, too.